Podcast

Deep Surrenders Involving Identity, Singleness, and Healing. Cally Logan

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Unshakable Hope Podcast, where real life intersects redeeming love. I’m Kelly Hall, and this is where we wrestle through faith questions, such as how do I trust God’s heart when His ways and delays are breaking mine? We’ll hear from people just like you and me, who have experienced God’s faithfulness when life didn’t unfold as they expected. My prayer is that God would renew our hope in His Word and His love through these conversations.

Hey guys. I’m so glad you joined me today. My guest and I are talking about surrender and maybe like most of us surrender is not our favorite word, but my favorite surrender prayer is found at the end of Psalm 139.

Lord search me and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. When we ask God to reveal anything standing in the way of deeper [00:01:00] intimacy with him, it’s so worth it.It’s so worth it. Because that’s where we experience so much freedom, we experience the abundance that Jesus talks about, and we dive into richer dimensions of God’s heart than we ever imagined.

Cally Logan has walked through some deep surrenders involving identity, healing, and singleness. God led me to her through an interesting series of events. I won’t go into, but she and I have a sweet soul connection now that I am so thankful for. So let me introduce you to her.

She is a school teacher and the author of three books. She’s a senior writer for Crosswalk. Her works have been featured on the 700 Club Interactive and Christine Cain’s Propel Women. She served as a mentor for young women for several years and enjoys challenging them to develop deeper relationships with God so they can live fearlessly and [00:02:00] authentically. Today we’ll be talking about some of the surrenders she walked through in two of her books.

The first one we’ll discuss is Dear Future Husband. And then her latest book, which is coming out right now, you can get it today, is The Wallflower That Bloomed. She’s a beautiful writer. You’ll love both these books.

So welcome Cally. I am so glad you could join me today.

Cally: Thank you. I am so delighted to be here.

Kelly: So for my listeners who don’t know, can you explain just a little bit about what Crosswalk is? Crosswalks.

Cally: Yeah, I would love to crosswalk is an amazing website. It’s kind of a sister website to christianity. com and jesus. org, but it’s a website where people can go and there are devotionals and there are also just timely articles, things going on world events or questions that you might have. How do I navigate that relationship or different things? It’s a wonderful topical website that just provides a lot of godly, biblically rooted encouragement.[00:03:00]

Kelly: Yeah. And you can sign up for daily emails, devos, right? From Crosswalk? Right. . Yeah. I’ve read some of your articles on there. They were really interesting. You’re right. It’s just a wealth of information. All right.

Now I have previewed your books, as I mentioned, and you are just a beautiful writer, Callie. I want you to just tell us about your story and then what led you to write the dear future husband book.

Cally: That’s so kind. I’ve been writing since I could really pick up a pen and I love telling his story is what I really feel called and invited to do.

He lets me be a conduit of it, but it’s His story and I get to, to share in that goodness. And that’s such a blessing. But this book in particular, Dear Future Husband, was such a cool God story. In the mornings I felt called, a few years ago, to kind of not pick up my phone right away. I don’t even have my phone near my bedside anymore.

And I felt to have it just [00:04:00] across the room. And I spend that early time of day just with God and make a cup of coffee and just hang out with him for a little while, have breakfast with him. And, you know, so my prayers in the morning…. They’re soft and they’re quiet. Sometimes I’m asking questions or sometimes I’m just listening to hear what he has to say.

And one particular morning, it was before class started. I’m a school teacher as well. And I just felt the Lord just kind of tap on my heart and say, well, what would you think of writing a book about your letters? And I knew exactly what he was talking about with that. But I was a little struck by the question.

I was like, Oh, I can’t say no to God. But I. I just, I didn’t even know how to respond. That was not what I thought that morning was going to yield and kind of behind the scenes. We were in kind of the final stages of my first book doing an edit process. And when you write a book, you write the manuscript and you hand it off to the publisher and they do edits [00:05:00] and they do, you know, suggested revisions and they hand it back to you.

And so almost to the dot, 24 hours later, I got an email from my publisher and they said, you had this, you know, it was a couple of pages section about this hobby or habit you’ve done for several years of writing these letters to your future husband and we love that idea. Would you consider writing a book about that?

And, of course, my jaw, you know, once I picked it up off the ground, I was like, well, I don’t think I need any more confirmation on what the next book is going to be or what, you know, the will of the Lord is with this and He had made me privy to it 24 hours before. So that was really the inspiration behind this book.

And although it appears like it’s my story, it’s really an invitation to women to place themselves as the character. And my hope is that, several of the letters, they will see themselves in that, or they will draw encouragement of maybe, you know, kind of next steps or [00:06:00] curiosity of what if I considered that in my own journey and walk as I’m waiting on the Lord for a promise.

Kelly: Yeah. I would love for you to explain, tell us the name of your first book and then tell us about your habit of writing letters and what that was about.

Cally: I’d love to. My first book was called, Hang in there girl. And it came out in 2022 and that was just a book of encouragement to a lot of the young ladies that I was mentoring at the time I was working with high school girls and it’s a big sister book.  To come alongside them and the habit that I talked about that actually ended up becoming the full book was when I was 18, I felt very captivated to start writing letters to my future husband. It was evident to my heart that I was to be married one day, and then I had that desire,

but that he was not around. He wasn’t at my school. He wasn’t, you know, at church or anything. And so I thought, well, I’m kind of bummed out that he’s missing some of these big life [00:07:00] events because when you’re graduating high school, you’re going into college or you’re starting all these new things. You want to share that with those that you care about.

And I just guess I had this feeling of connection already with him then, well, I wish I could share this with him, but I can’t. So I thought, well, I can do a message in a bottle, couldn’t I? I could record this down in a journal and give that to him one day so that he felt like he was there or he felt like he knew me at 18, even if he didn’t. And so I began doing that and I guess. This month, I think is 13 years. I’ve been doing that now. Yeah. So yeah,

Kelly: that is so beautiful. I love that God called you to do that. And what is so interesting about the book…. I didn’t know what to expect. It’s called dear future husband. So it includes excerpts. I don’t even know the full letters that you wrote along the way.

Callie: Yeah. So I actually did something a little different. I, instead of photocopying my letters [00:08:00] or, you know, anything, I actually went through my old journals and I looked at the voicing of I’m such a diary keeper. And so I looked at and had a good sit down with 18 year old me, 19 year old me, 24 year old me, and looked at some of the things I was talking about within my journals and in my heart.

But I also listened to the women around me, I listened to the 18 year olds that I mentor. I listened to the 23 year olds. I mentor. I listened to my friends who were also in their thirties and waiting kind of comprised and wrote letters in the stylization of those different age demographics.

Kelly: The thing that I noticed is that I know I wasn’t your intended audience, but I thought that book was more than anything, a chronicling of your faith walk. It was so beautifully written. It struck me in really deep ways and I would say it called me deeper into humility and in surrender to the [00:09:00] Lord.

It was so beautiful. And there were certain things that you mentioned about as you were praying for your husband that made me appreciate some characteristics in my husband. So it was really meaningful to me. I want to read a part of one of your Reflections in there. And then I’d like you just to talk about that. Okay. All right. So this was towards the end of a devotional day.

“I am coming into reflection of my desperate need for a Savior more than ever. Humbly, I come before the throne of God in submission, admitting how desperately I need him. This isn’t something that will be done only once in my life. But is a daily choice to pick up my cross in humility and follow him for it is him that I desperately need. All at once I had an experience like never before, like a warm blanket, The Holy Spirit came upon me, raining down comfort, peace, and the feeling of being truly known, loved, and accepted, even in [00:10:00] my brokenness.

That’s so moving.  I’m wondering if you could elaborate on what the Lord was doing in your life at that point.

Callie: Yeah, that I think one of the biggest things that I learned through the writing of this book and through the writing of the letters was for a long time. I think I almost set having a husband up kind of as an idol, that would solve all my problems, that would that having that relationship would fill the lack in my heart or it would make me feel the most known and seen and along the way. I

I’ve been really grateful that I’ve learned more of what it means to be the bride of Christ and that God has already given us his best husband through his son, Jesus. That particular story was a really coming out of a very dark depression in my life and coming into a deeper, fuller surrender, not just kind of surrendering part of my life, but more of the whole.

And that was really a pivot point for me personally. And I wanted to encourage young women and [00:11:00] doing that same thing and doing the surrender and coming into realizing another human being isn’t going to be your savior. That’s not going to, you know, and sometimes we might even think, oh, well, there’s this job, or if I get this accomplishment, or if I get this 1 thing, then I will be happy days, you know, and that’s not fulfilling, you know, that’s not what your heart really needs.

Your heart needs God and. And so that was a really big point that I wanted to reference of just coming into that deeper relationship of full surrender of God and realizing he satisfies everything we could ever need and he truly is our salvation. And so it was a gift to get to, to share that personal reflection in my own life, but also to, to share that good bread and say, Hey, if you’re in a place where you keep thinking that all these other things are going to satisfy, they won’t. But HE will, and there’s that joy in that gift that he [00:12:00] will.

And the book as a whole is kind of to serve of, you know, it’s wonderful to have human relationships. It’s wonderful to have a husband or. a friend or anything like that, but ultimately that relationship with the Lord is going to be the one that matters the most in your life.

Kelly: Amen. When I read the book, what I thought was, this was just a bunch of hard surrenders and it was so beautifully explained and , it leads readers into deeper surrender to Christ. One of the things God did for us in our life was Help my husband and I recognize an idol of normalcy.

Like we just kept waiting for the day when our girls would launch and when everything would, when we would have normal problems and not the difficulties that we were dealing with every day, but when God rid. My life of that idol it was a hard surrender.

But wow, on the other side was the [00:13:00] purest hope. And that’s what God has taught me is that our deepest surrenders will always birth purer hope in Jesus Christ.

Callie: Amen

Kelly: I know that, so you’re a 32 year old single woman, and in church and in work, you have encountered people who don’t really understand Singleness and they don’t really know what to do with you, it seemed like. So can you just talk about how you’ve navigated that space with the Lord in work and at church and in friendships?

Callie: Wonderful question. It’s definitely not something, you know, like you said, there’s the idol of normalcy and I think a lot of times, you know, we all crave that in a certain way. Like, oh well, but see if I can just have this kinda American dream look then. Then I can appear more normal and then I can feel like I can rest.

I can be at comfort because I won’t appear abnormal or I won’t appear odd to other people. And it is something that we crave, but it’s also something that we think other [00:14:00] people will feel more comfortable around us if so. And I think a lot of times the church doesn’t exactly know what to do with singles.

Beyond having a singles group where they hope that they will all just match up and get married. And it’s a well meaning thing, but it’s, you know, they don’t really know how to approach it. And something that God’s taught me about navigating is it’s okay if I’m on a different timeline, or if I have a different path than other people do,

I’ve definitely learned even your friends who, you know, they’ll get married, they’ll have kids right away. Everyone comes to something that they’re waiting for, something, they’re waiting on God to fulfill a desire of their hearts. And that might be a job, that might be a house, it might be a healing, it might be a move or a breakthrough in some certain way in their own walk.

But looking at it that we all have been given this life and we all meet challenges. And that’s okay. If your challenge is different than someone else’s, it doesn’t mean that you’re [00:15:00] more highly favored or they’re more highly favored. It just means you’re just on your own story and that’s okay too.

Kelly: Yeah, you shared a really funny story about how some people don’t know what when they come and they find out you’re not married and you don’t have a boyfriend. Tell me about that look they give you and how you describe it.

Callie: They look at you so peculiar. I think I said before, it’s almost kind of like you say like, Oh, I don’t have a car.

And they’re like, what do you mean you don’t have a car? That’s you’re in your, like in your thirties and you don’t have a car?? Like that’s kind of weird. Like, and it’s not that there’s anything wrong with you either. I think something that I’ve come to is recognizing that I want to honor the other person.

And, you know, kind of having a placeholder boyfriend, or a placeholder relationship, or 1 that I know is counter to what God has for me. And there’s not that peace. That’s not just unfair to me, but it’s unfair to the other person because I might be [00:16:00] holding them back from what God has for them or, I might just kind of muddy the waters and it wouldn’t be fair giving some of my heart, even emotionally to that other person when I really desire for that just to be for my husband.

And so that was a huge conviction that I had in my early twenties that I don’t want to just date for fun for kicks because when you put the heart out there, that’s not fair to anyone involved. Right.

Kelly: So I know there are times when you get weary in the wait as we all do, and I talk about this all the time in my ministry of how we cultivate hope in those times when we get weary. So I’d love for you just to talk about that with me. Tell me about some of the ways you’ve experienced weariness and then how you have cultivated hope in the Lord in those places.

Callie: Weariness is such a human condition, isn’t it? Yes. Even from, you know, our physical bodies where we get weary of working and having those long days to the things [00:17:00] that our hearts are aching for and our hearts become weary.

But I think looking at it that God wants those too. And being honest, I think being honest and vulnerable has been one of the Most prevalent breakthroughs that I’ve had with the Lord, and it’s not like he doesn’t already know. He knows every hair on my head. He knows every feeling in my heart and I think coming before him and looking to David, you know, you see David crying out to the Lord.

Sometimes he almost appears a little whiny, but then. In other moments when we’re in that same place, I think, Oh, thank goodness. Someone else got it too. They understood they’re not being, he’s not being whiny at all. He just gets it right. And I think it’s coming forward and saying, God, you know, I love you.

I still believe in your promise. I believe in your goodness, but I’m really sad right now. And I’m really tired and this hurts a lot and this feels really heavy and it’s offering that vulnerable honesty to him. And [00:18:00] that’s. That’s where you can actually experience and have him come alongside. And sometimes there’s that feeling that he’s just with you or just that you’re seen, or that’s the moment where sometimes, you know, a little nod of a wink or something can come in too.

But I think knowing that you’re not, it’s not being wasted. And I like to think about Romans 8:18, where it’s like these present struggles can’t compare to the glory coming and, I think about not just the glory of a promise fulfilled, even though that would be wonderful, but the glory of heaven and all that awaits there.

And knowing that this life is just but a breath. So it’s being present and acknowledging and validating that it hurts now and it’s weary but knowing that weariness is not your forever sentence.

Kelly: Yeah. I’m so, I love that you shared that. One of my favorite scriptures is I’m worn out waiting for your rescue, but I put my hope in your word.

And that’s out of Psalm 119, which might’ve been written by David. We don’t [00:19:00] really know, but I, that’s how we feel. So often we’re just worn out. We haven’t given up on God. We’re just continuing to seek him. We put our hope in his word, but we need to encounter him.

And so what you described is just pouring out everything that’s true to the Lord and letting him meet us there. And one of my favorite ways to cultivate hope in weariness is to ask questions and just say to the Lord, what do you want to say to me about this? And so often we’re just confused. Like it’s those when we’re weary, often it feels like the promises of God are not aligning with the reality of our life.

It almost seems like we’re living under a broken promise instead of a promise that’s going to be fulfilled so it’s so beautiful when the Lord speaks to us in a special way, and he always speaks personally, practically, powerfully. He is a God who speaks. He is alive and his word is alive.

And those are the times that God has resuscitated my hope more, more than [00:20:00] anything, asking questions and getting curious with the Lord about those places has been a great lifeline for me to God’s heart.

Callie: I love that. Yes.

Kelly: Are there any specific verses that are favorites of yours are stories in the Bible that you love to run to in times of weariness? You’ve already mentioned David.

Callie: I would say Psalm 37:4 is a really impactful one that I had kind of a neat navigation with the Lord. It kept popping up, seemed like anywhere I go and it just really struck my heart and, but there’s not familiar with it. And so. To delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

And the journey that I really came into recognizing was, and us delighting in Lord, it’s finding the joy in the Lord. It’s finding our subsistence in the Lord. It’s finding our salvation in the Lord. And it’s aligning ourselves that not just saying that not my will, but yours be done Lord. And that way of submission, but also saying, Lord, would you mold my heart that the [00:21:00] desires and the things that I want are actually the things that you want for me to.

Kelly: Yeah.

Callie: Beautiful partnership where you feel less fine, I’ll just take this, but instead, you know, I don’t want to just keep battling you all the time. I actually trust that, you know, me better than I think I know me. Yeah. I would love that opportunity for you to, to mold my heart and you find that relationship with the Lord and then, you know, he, he gives you those desires of your heart and it’s, that has been a verse that has sustained me in waiting for other things in my life.

It has, and it has reminded me that the true joy of this life is not the accolades. It’s not money. It’s not even relationships but it really is getting to have that relationship with him.

Kelly: Yes. Wow. So what you’re describing so beautifully is. This is a way to cultivate hope in the newness of [00:22:00] God. God is always doing a new thing, but what you described is actually putting your heart in a place where you’re believing that God’s going to do a new thing, and so instead of settling for the least he can do, you’re opening your heart to God possibilities and letting him shape those desires in, in your life.

Callie: Amen.

Well, I wanted to spend a little bit of time on your newest book and we probably won’t get to spend too much time there, but maybe I can have you back to discuss it more. Your newest book is the wallflower that bloomed. And so I’d love for you to describe what that’s about. And then I want you to speak to a particular story that you share.

Callie: I would love that. This book, man, I’m excited about it.

Kelly: It’s so good. It’s so fun.

Callie Thank you. This is a book encouraging people to live authentically to the person God made them to be. I think especially now this book is for all ages. It’s for [00:23:00] genders, it’s for everybody. But I think a lot of times I’ve noticed, at least even in women’s ministry, will get kind of caught up where you say, well, my identity’s in Christ.

But that’s and then you stop there. You almost stop at the threshold of door of the house and you’re like, well, my identity is in Christ. It’s like, great. What does that mean? You know, and yeah, and it’s taking it further. And so it’s a book encouraging people to find and live out their God given identity… in the full bloom.

And this can be done at any age. You can be 20 or you can be 88. You know, you get it. It doesn’t matter. But it’s really stepping into that fullness and living vibrantly for the person God made you to be because you were born for a specific time and the world needs who you were made to be.

Kelly: Yes. This book is so good. I love it. I haven’t gotten through the whole thing. When does it come out? May 1st. May 1st. Okay. It’s full of beautiful stories, current stories, Bible stories, [00:24:00] your friend stories, . It’s so easy to read and it is relatable to everybody at any age. I really believe that everybody that reads it will find themselves in the pages of this book at some point.

Now you have a particular chapter called the bully in the mirror, and that’s talking about words you might say to yourself. Self criticism. , I love that chapter so much because you start out at one point, you’re telling the story from Luke of how the disciples were in the boat and the storm is raging and Jesus gets into the boat and then calms the storm with just a word.

And then you ask the question, but what if God doesn’t? Quiet the storm. What if God doesn’t stop the storm and you’re referring to the things that are going on in our own lives. You share lots of stories of how people receive soul healing in the Bible and other stories, but I’d love for you to tell one particular story, your personal story about how God led you and [00:25:00] brought healing when he brought you to a used bookstore, I believe.

Callie: Yep. So this was a while ago. I’m almost 32 now. And so this event actually happened when I was 26, but I particularly love movies and I’m such an avid movie watcher. And I’m grateful to God often. Uses that like as parables for me and the things that I go through in my life. And I kept feeling this nudge to go to this used bookstore and they sell movies and CDs and everything.

So I said, okay, so I drove down there and on an end cap was, it’s funny because the cover of the movie, actually, Was like metallic or it was shiny. So it was literally like shining and it was the movie cast away. And of course I mean, I had seen that growing up and stuff. I think it came out in 2000 and, , of course being, , a nineties kid, I had seen it several times before, but I just, I felt this invitation to buy it.

So I did and I watched it and it was amazing how relevant it [00:26:00] was in my life. At the time, because as I talk about with Luke in that story, Jesus calms the storm with a word instantly. And that was amazing. That was a miracle. But for a lot of us, it’s not just a 1 word and then the storms gone and a lot of times that aftermath can be hard as well.

And in the movie, if you’re not familiar with it, it’s about a man who finds himself literally stranded on an island and. I love how the directors in particular didn’t make the island where he found some sort of solace in the sunset or something like that. It’s actually more of like, no, like this was, you were a cast away and you were on this island and there was, it was hard and it was not a quick two week venture.

He was stuck there for a while and he kept having attempts to try and get off the island and he attempted that in himself and all of them just seemed to fail. And he finally found himself to the point of desperation of, well, the only way I’m going to get off this [00:27:00] island is death. And he recounts this story.

They don’t show it, but he recounts it that he had kind of planned out how he was going to get himself off the island. And he had this piece come over him like a blanket and it was, no, I need to keep going. This is not my final place. And so he, he said, okay. I’m going to trust and I’m going to keep going.

And I love how. That you knew it was God, but they didn’t have to be overt. They didn’t have to be, so in your face, you just, you could feel it in your spirit. And then sure enough on out of the blue and unexpected day, that sale came and he got off the island

Kelly: hmmmm

Callie: his life went on and there was more life for him. And that wasn’t the end of his story. And for me, I felt so on an island at this time in my life, I had endured a really traumatic event [00:28:00] and I didn’t know if I was ever going to get off that island. I kept trying to cheer myself up. I kept trying to distract myself. I kept trying to do all these different things and I even wrestled with, God, I said why did this happen?

Why did this happen? Why didn’t you, I didn’t understand why he didn’t intervene, why the bad thing had to occur and how it could help anybody or anything. And I wrestled so much with that and I brought my honest thoughts and my honest heart to the Lord. And I’m like, why? Like, I didn’t do anything to deserve that.

And, you know, I went through therapy and that was a gift at the time. And even after therapy, I still felt vulnerably on that island. And is that sale ever going to come? But it did. And it was just kind of out of the blue. You know, and it was in a very soft place where peace was given and healing was given and I did get off that island and I was so grateful to have that metaphor of that [00:29:00] movie to use that for description of I, of a thing.

I didn’t know how to describe of how I was feeling with him.

Kelly: Yeah.

Callie: Jesus not only calmed the storm, he not only got rid of the storm, but he brought healing to me as well. And it actually ended up deepening my relationship with the Lord because I was able to bring that vulnerable place of just feeling so shattered and saying, God, I, I don’t even know how to look to you in this because I feel so sad.

Kelly: Yeah.

Callie: And he met me there and I’m really, I was very grateful to get to share that. Not because it was something I necessarily wanted to share,  but just in the goodness of God to get you out of some of the darkest places you’ll ever be. Yes.

Kelly: What I love is the creativity of our God. The healing he brought to you was unique to you. He is always a soul healer. No matter where our journey goes, he will be bringing soul healing, but I love how he’s so [00:30:00] creatively met you in that place of despair and weariness and brought healing and restoration. And that’s what he will do. That’s our Jesus. That’s how God works. He’s so beautiful. Amen.

Well, Callie, I’m wondering if there’s anything else, any other words of hope that you would like to leave our listeners with, and one of the things you already said that I love so much is this is not the end of your story, and that is a great word of hope, but what else would you like to leave us with today?

Callie: I would say that no matter where you are, whether you’re in a place where you feel shattered, or you just feel weary, or you feel kind of curious, does God have more? I think I would share the verse Ephesians 3 20, which I know ends up on a lot of coffee mugs. But it doesn’t make it any less powerful and believing that our God can do exceedingly and abundantly more than all we could ask for or hope for or imagine.

And if you go a little bit back to 3:17 on that, it’s talking about being rooted in [00:31:00] Christ. So I would encourage and say, root yourself in him, develop that relationship with him and see the goodness and the love that he has for you and how he can do so much more than you could even conjure up to be the greatest.

Kelly: Amen. That is so true. When we open our imaginations to all of the goodness of God, we will just be amazed what he will do.

Callie: Amen.

Kelly: Thank you for being here today. This was so much fun to connect with you. And I will put the links to your books and your website in the show notes and I hope people will be able to check them out.

Callie: Thank you for having me on. It was a gift to be here.

Kelly: If you were encouraged in your faith today, it’d be great if you’d help get the word out by subscribing, sharing with a friend or leaving a review. I’d love to hear from you. You can reach out through my website, kellyhall. org and pick up some free resources while you’re there. Thanks [00:32:00] for listening to the Unshakable Hope Podcast.