Podcast

Finding Hope in God’s Nearness through Medical Confusion and Cancer. Linda Rollins

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Unshakable Hope Podcast, where real life intersects redeeming love. I’m Kellie Hall, and this is where we wrestle through faith questions, such as how do I trust God’s heart when His ways and delays are breaking mine? We’ll hear from people just like you and me who have experienced God’s faithfulness when life didn’t unfold as they expected.

My prayer is that God would renew our hope in His Word and His love through these conversations.

Hey, friends. Today, my heart is full of empathy and compassion for those like many in my world who are walking through medical issues that are ongoing that you don’t have answers to that are confusing and often painful and debilitating. If you or someone you know has ever wondered during those times, Does God see me?Does he care about all of this?

I [00:01:00] pray, that although your situation may be different, as you listen to this conversation, that you will receive some encouragement from the Lord and be reminded in a fresh and tangible way that he sees you and loves you and is actively working in your life, even when you don’t feel it.

My guest today is Linda Rollins. She is someone who has walked through four decades of an ongoing medical issue and then through some very difficult cancer treatments with ongoing side effects. She’s going to share portions of her story and we’re going to hear of the way she experienced the faithfulness and nearness of God and also some very tender supernatural encounters with the Lord that sustained her over the years.

Linda is a licensed minister and has been actively involved in prayer ministries for many years. She teaches, she’s involved also in deliverance ministries and enjoys caring for [00:02:00] those who are homeless or who are in nursing homes.She’s also written a book. It’s a collection of vignettes that encapsulate her story. It’s called On the bathroom floor looking up: encouragement for when you think you’re down for the count.

So Linda, I’m so thankful you’re willing to share your story with us. It’s so good to have you.

Linda: Thank you, Kelly. I appreciate the opportunity to be here on your podcast and just really share the love and the goodness of God. He doesn’t give up. He does care when we feel that there is just no hope. He is there, always there.

Kelly: Amen. Yes, absolutely. I’m just wondering if you could start by just telling us about your family. You have quite a large extended family right now, Linda.

Linda: Yes. I’ve been married 28 years. Wonderful man. He’s an engineer who still works full time. I have [00:03:00] two children who live very close by.  Have seven grandchildren, five of which live within distance that I can visit them and two are out of state and five great grand babies that I get to love on that are local. I’m blessed that most of my family, the immediate family is here.

Kelly: I know that is awesome. I’m a little bit jealous about that, but I love celebrating that with you. Linda and I met probably six years ago when we went to a retreat, for our church. But I just recently discovered her story through a mutual friend we have. So Linda, let’s just dive in. You were about 18 years old when you experienced the first sign that something was really wrong with you, but you didn’t discover what it was until later. So can you just kind of unfold what that was like?

Linda: Yes, I was 18 years old. I had graduated high school. I was attending [00:04:00] college full time. I was working full time. So I was young. I could do it, but I would get weary. And on a Saturday afternoon, I was napping and lying on our sofa in our room that had our TV and so forth.

And a knock came at the door and it was a friend. I got up from the sofa and went out to our kitchen and everything seemed fine. And then just like that, I started feeling kind of dizzy and things got kind of gray and I passed out first time ever. Well, didn’t know what to do. It caused it. What happened? And my parents ended up taking me to our family doctor.

Now we lived in a rural, basically farming community. There was one doctor for several little communities. So bless his heart. He told my parents, well, people faint all the time and she stood up [00:05:00] too quickly. Don’t stand up so quickly. makes your blood pressure drop. So went home and my parents thought no more of it.

And I didn’t either. And that’s how it started. So as I got a little bit older in my twenties, got married was pregnant with our first child, the spells, I call them spells started happening more often. And I would pass out the doctor. I went to told me, well, Let’s check your blood sugar and it was a bit low.

So it’s your low blood sugar. Start carrying a little snack with you when you feel a little dizzy or whatever, start, you know, popping and some little crackers or things in your mouth. I did that as a, Years went by, got pregnant with our second child, and the spells got worse. And the reason the title of the book is what it is, [00:06:00] most of the spells would happen at home, and I would end up feeling nauseous, Sick heading for the bathroom and I would end up passing out in the bathroom and when I woke up I’d be looking at the ceiling on the bathroom floor looking up And this went on, you know for years no explanation I would go to doctors one doctor told me well You have abdominal migraines Which I had never heard of and she said there wasn’t any cure.

I didn’t really know what caused it. It involved the nervous system and no medication. Just that was the diagnosis. She didn’t know who to refer me to. And so I just went merrily on my way living with these spells. So for years that was the pattern.

Kelly: What is so confusing about this is [00:07:00] you never knew when it was going to happen. So you were raising your family. You ended up getting divorced. Then you’re a single mom, supporting your family, working very hard. To make ends meet and you’re passing out routinely at work or at home when you’re cooking and in dangerous situations and falling and getting concussions.

So you often had injuries associated with the falls and it just went on and on being misdiagnosed for four decades. Eventually, I think you were even put on seizure medication at one point.

Linda: Yes, I was. Yes. When one doctor said, you know, I think you’re having a type of a seizure.

I went to a neurologist, did all kinds of testing. And as a child, I had bumped my head. catching fireflies at night, and I hit my head on the cement porch of our home. And so this neurologist years later said, you know, there’s [00:08:00] a little blip in that frontal lobe and we’ll put you on medication. It wasn’t really determined that was the cause, but something did show up.

So I was on seizure medication, which meant you couldn’t drive. So I was It impacted my work. I did payroll and HR for a veterinary hospital for years. Well, seizure medication, it makes you feel, at least it made me feel like I was in a fog. That’s not good when you’re doing payroll and working with people’s money.

So it really did impact you know, my, my job. As you said, I would pass out just. There were some triggers I started noticing if I exercise too much changes in temperature, if I got too hot, even after some foods, it seemed like if I went out and had a nice dinner, I’d come home and have one of these episodes.

Kelly: Right. I’m going to let you explain the diagnosis in a minute. But first, I just want to ask [00:09:00] you if you felt, I mean, there is shame. Sometimes that’s associated with suffering. You can feel judged by others.

And I’m just wondering if you felt that people don’t understand what was that like for you? Yes.

Linda: Yes, I did. I would question myself. What is wrong with me? What? Why can’t anybody figure it out? And when I was divorced, I was still raising my two kids and I actually was single for 12, 13 years. So of course I did meet some nice gentlemen.

I’d go out on a date and for heaven’s sakes, I would pass out on dates. Well, that wasn’t the way to, you know, really get to know someone. They find you flat out, not you’re frightening them. They think, well, what’s wrong with this person? I felt very isolated at times. People would invite me.

I went to a party once where we were just, it was a nice group of people. We were in a hot tub. And when I [00:10:00] exited the hot tub, I passed out cold on the cement. So I would start really isolating, rejecting invitations because I thought when is this going to happen again? Not to mention as a single mom I had to take my children places and so forth.

And so I was concerned, is this going to happen when I’m driving? And this was prior to being on seizure medication. I didn’t want to put them in harm’s way. So it was very confusing. It was isolating. It was frustrating. It made you feel like you were less than What you should be

Kelly: yes, and I’m sure that you were a phrase that Susie Larson uses often is bracing for impact. So, because you never knew when it could happen. Like you said, you’re turning down invitations, you’re managing your life and you’re always probably in a state of almost hypervigilance, [00:11:00] preparing for what could happen next.

But go ahead and explain to us the actual diagnosis. Some beautiful, wonderful doctor. God led you to this guy

Linda: yes, we were at a church picnic and I had given at a blood mobile there on a Saturday afternoon. And everything was fine and walked back to get a snow cone and passed out cold on the sidewalk.

And so an ambulance was called, went to the hospital, and I never remembered this doctor’s name. He was an ER doctor. on call that day and he said, you know, I see that you’re on seizure medicine, but I think you need to go see a cardiologist. Okay. I’d never heard that before. So I did make an appointment, got in to see this fellow that I know it was all God ordained because the first time I met him and saw him, he said to me, I know exactly what’s wrong with you. Well, after years of all these misdiagnoses, I [00:12:00] remember leaving and I said to my husband, I don’t know. I think he’s a little arrogant, but he wanted to put me through some testing. And so I agreed. I thought, what have I got to lose at this point? And he said, it was a very simple test.

They put you on a table. You’re lying flat on your back. They slowly elevate you. And blood will when a person stands up, your brain tells your heart, pump harder. The head, the brain needs blood and don’t let it all go to the extremities. Well, this simple test. showed that my brain was not talking properly to my heart.

And there’s a nerve that runs down through the main nerve, the vagus nerve, that was the, you know, miscommunication, the brain was miscommunicating with that nerve. So when I would stand up, the blood would pool, and it’s, called very fancy name Cardio [00:13:00] Neurogenic Syncope, basically meaning, you pass out because the brain’s not talking properly to your heart and the blood’s not getting to your brain.

Well, that affects the rhythm of your heart. And so after some tests, and he did one final test and my heart was actually stopping. And this was as I was. You know, I believe I was 57 by this time and he said you need a pacemaker. And of course at the back of my mind, my father had heart issues and died in his sleep.

So I, you know, I was okay. I need to get something done. I had no idea my heart was actually sick. Stopping and he said, you know, there might be a time that it’s not going to start back up. And so of course I went ahead and got the pacemaker that basically solved my problem. And What a relief. What a relief.

It was a new lease on life. It was a new lease on life [00:14:00] and I still see the same doctor 20 years. I’ve been seeing him now and we’re he’s an excellent doctor and he’s a good friend and I always tell him I said you and God saved my life and he knew, he said, I know exactly what’s wrong and it’s not seizures.

So thank heavens I got off seizure medication and this was the new, this was the diagnosis that I had been waiting and searching for.

Kelly: Yeah. Yes. Well, I want to share with our listeners a verse that has anchored me. To hope as we have walked through times like this, when what is going on with our girls, so many decades of not knowing what was going on.

So many symptoms that were kind of weird to doctors. They didn’t know what to do with them. And so the verses in Jeremiah 33, three, this gives me so much hope call to me and I will answer you. God is speaking, call to me and I’ll answer you. I’ll tell you [00:15:00] great and marvelous. things you could never figure out on your own.

And that’s in the message version. But I love that God knows this would give me so much comfort. God, I could, I would say to the Lord, I could go try 500 doctors. I could try 10, 000 treatments and medications and supplements. And we Still wouldn’t get an answer, but you know what is going on. And I want to protect my girls from more medical trauma.

So please just show us what you know that’s hidden. And that gave me a lot of peace and it kept me from frantically running from doctor to treatment.

Linda: Yes. Amen. Amen. There’s scriptures that, oh my goodness Psalm 23, you know, I just, I would read that and just lean into it that he’s my shepherd.

He knows me. He’s leading me. He’s guiding me. I have to trust him. And I had to [00:16:00] make a decision. What did I trust? The word of God, or did I trust my own instincts and do it this way and go here and do that? I had to make a decision. Like you hear, you draw a line in the sand and it was like, I am trusting God’s word.

And there’s just so many scriptures, like you’ve mentioned that we trust, we lean into him. He knows. He knows when we don’t, he sees the beginning from the end, we don’t. So I would just hang on to that like an anchor. I would just hang on.

Kelly: Absolutely. Yes. So what you’re describing is really the temptation to believe the lie that God has abandoned me, that it’s up to me to fix myself, to find a solution.

Linda: Yes. Yes, absolutely. And I think that’s easy when you’re going through something. Yeah. Well, you’ll, you know, we have this temptation to get on the internet to Google something and well, Mayo [00:17:00] Clinic says this, or this one says that, or just the different opinions and you get people telling you, well, try this, change your diet, do this.

And it’s not that it’s bad advice, but you can, you know, pretty much drive yourself down all these rabbit trails when really you just need to ask god what lord help so many times i would just be lord help and he would answer

Kelly: Yes. And of course, there’s nothing wrong with investigating, but as you’re describing it’s when it becomes frantic.

Linda: Yes. Yes. Yes. And

Kelly: here and you all, even as we’re investigating, if we’re doing it, Lord, I’m searching, show me highlight what I need to know. And don’t let me go searching down five dozen rabbit trails that lead nowhere.

Linda: Right. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Kelly: So I love that you brought up Psalm 23, such a comfort.

I love that he’s [00:18:00] our shepherd and he so tenderly cares for our souls when you, and this is just for our listeners. If you are feeling like God is neglecting you. I would encourage you to hang out in that Psalm and just remember Jesus is right there with you. God is right there with you, tenderly, compassionately walking with you and caring for you in every way.

I would sometimes be so stressed out by our daughter’s medical conditions. I couldn’t sleep. And I would just play Psalm 23 over and over and that would help me fall asleep. Yes.

Linda: Yes.

Kelly: Linda, I remember you saying that at one point God powerfully changed your life and he took you into a deeper surrender.

You knew him, but your relationship with him became more intimate. So can you describe how that happened?

Linda: Yes. Well, growing up. I was raised in a church that my grandparents, they were my spiritual [00:19:00] examples and they would take my sister and I to their church. And I grew up watching them.

They lived just up the road from us. They were farmers and just wonderful Christian people. And I was in the church all my life. And once I was married and had children, I was involved. I wanted to make sure they were in church so forth. I. Once I got divorced, I was in church even more. I was going on mission trips.

I was doing, you know, what I felt I needed to do. But I think the real surrender did not come until I’d gone through the divorce. My father had passed away. My mother. was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away and she had been staying out in Arizona with me and I just felt like what is left my life was just in shambles and I was still working I had the kids but I just felt like the bottom had fallen [00:20:00] out and I remember one evening I just was lying on my bedroom floor just Spread eagle crying and you know one of those where you’re crying you’re snotting you’re just oh, it’s just you’re just letting it go And just crying out to the lord, you know, I need you and if you’re I know you’re real But I really need you And he spoke to me and from that point going forward I just had this deeper walk with him because I You fully surrendered.

It’s one of these, I just give it all to you because I don’t know what to do with what’s left. I don’t know how to proceed. I don’t, my kids at this point had both gotten married. So I was the, you know, empty nester. It was just me and my dog. And I just was searching and searching for more.

And he met me. Right there at the point where I was [00:21:00] sorrowful over my mother’s passing, you know, she’d been my rock going through that divorce Just feeling alone and at this point I still had not been diagnosed so i’m having the episodes and so forth. I was just lord I give myself to you if you can use what this what I have Please and I just felt Such a peace.

I knew something had changed. I just knew something had shifted in my walk and in my spirit and my relationship with him. Something had shifted. I had more of a desire to be in the word. I was praying more. And when I went to church, it wasn’t what I could do. It was just Being there, you know, in his presence, get not just taking, but giving, you know, worshiping, just listening and having ears to hear.

So it really [00:22:00] changed me. Really changed me.

Kelly: Yeah. It sounds like what you’re describing was a shift from trusting in yourself

Linda: exactly

Kelly: because you mentioned I was doing everything I thought I needed to do. So, it sounds like you really shifted into Jesus. I just want to enjoy you. I want to walk with you. I want to receive your love and walk in your love. It sounds like it was a huge shift into intimacy and fully trusting in the Lord. Yes.

Linda: Yes, it was indeed. You know, I’d had friends that would talk about, Oh, the relationship. And I thought, well, I’m I have a relationship, but I always knew there was something more.

And that was it. Exactly. Instead of me trying to control everything, direct everything, just give it to him.

Kelly: Yeah. He is the blessed controller of all things. He

Linda: is. He is. Thank heavens.

Kelly: Yes. . Well, I know that one of the hardest things you [00:23:00] ever walked through, you have said was your cancer treatment. It was, it just was so painful. So I’m just wondering if you could share a synopsis of that. And then we’ll just talk about how the Lord met you and how you gained strength and hope in him during some of the darkest times of your life.

Linda: Well, being diagnosed with these episodes, these passing out spells, Oh, I was on cloud nine and I remarried and we both loved the outdoors. It seemed just like, Oh, just perfection. We’d hike, we’d fish. Would do fun things and we traveled. And then when I was 70, I was feeling fine.

I was feeling great. One day I noticed there was something not quite right I was riding a, an exercise bike and I thought something’s hurting and it just was irritating and it didn’t go away.

And [00:24:00] I got stuff over the counter and all that. Nothing worked. Went to the doctor. He said, Oh, it’s a hemorrhoid. Come back in six weeks, he gave me some medication. Try this. Well, I went back after a week and I would say, you know your body and if something’s not right, then go back to the doctor.

He sent me to a colorectal doctor who immediately knew that something was not right. It was a very fast growing cancer and it was inoperable, which I remember being just numb, just was diagnosed as anal cancer and inoperable that in the short time it had intertwined and so forth up in the colon.

And just I couldn’t be operated on. So that meant radiation and chemo. And I think until you’re faced with the diagnosis, I was in shock. My husband was with me and I remember just feeling absolutely numb. I didn’t cry. I [00:25:00] was numb, never thinking it would be cancer,

Kelly: I love that the Holy Spirit just impacted your heart with knowing there’s something else wrong. And I’m so thankful that you went immediately back to the doctor because this was a fast growing cancer and this probably saved your life.

Linda: Absolutely.

Absolutely. And there was just that something’s not right. , anyway I started chemo and radiation and I had more rounds of radiation than I did chemo, but you have the effects and again, losing your hair.

And I mean, I I think my attitude about it was all God because the people were so wonderful that helped treat me. You lose your hair, you lose your eyebrows. And I thought, really, you lose your eyelashes. Some do. And I lost one eye and not the other. So I found humor in that. And I thought, well, this is weird.

You know, my one eye has no lashes. The other one does. But people were [00:26:00] just so wonderful. And the treatments. The radiation was the most difficult. I really didn’t have horrible side effects from the chemo other than, you know, you lose your hair and that’s bad enough, but the radiation , it kills the cancer, but it also has, other effects.

It can kill tissue and burn tissue. And that’s what happened inside and outside of me. So actually my worst days were following the ending of my treatment. I thought, yes, the last radiation treatment I had, I remember I was in tears, I’m bleeding, and the people were just so wonderful. And I just wanted to get through it.

And I would just shut my eyes and I was just praying and I had it wasn’t, I didn’t see Jesus in person, but I just had this vision that he’s standing behind me as I’m lying on that bed for the radiation, had his hands on my [00:27:00] shoulders. And he was saying, I’ve been here for every treatment. I’m with you now.

And that day was the last. So you get to go out and ring the bell and you think, Oh, hallelujah, I’m done. Well, I ended up in the hospital and I hospital just a few days later because I was running a fever and it was the start of all these blisters and infection and so forth inside and outside from the radiation.

So it was painful. You couldn’t hardly I couldn’t sit. I couldn’t lie very long and I certainly couldn’t stand very much and. I was in bed for a few months and that affects your body. Your muscles get weak. no energy, but the pain of the blisters I was treated as a burn victim by my oncologist and had to undergo some treatments and so forth.

And it was the most painful thing I had ever experienced in my life. Wow.

Kelly: So tell us when you were experiencing the [00:28:00] deepest, darkest pain, and you wondered if there was any hope for you, you probably just wish you could go to heaven and be done with it all.

But I’m so thankful that you had an experience with the Lord, a very powerful, intimate experience with the Lord. Were there any other things that held you or anchored you to hope during that time?

Linda: I would say of course the Lord, but there were so many wonderful people he brought into my life at that time.

We had meals delivered. Oh, it was wonderful. I couldn’t cook at that time. And my husband had to eat and I did, people brought meals. I had a dear friend that would come by once a week because my husband was vacuuming and doing the best he could. She said, I’m coming to clean your bathrooms.

So faithfully every week she would come by, she would sit on the bed with me and we’d watch funny movies. I, we, I would purposely focus on something that [00:29:00] made me laugh and find some joy. And I would listen to the audio Bibles, various versions of audio Bibles just to really lift my spirits. I listened to a lot of very uplifting.

Praise and worship music. There’s just so many little things that people would do. I might get a text when I was just feeling like, Oh, I don’t know if I’m going to make it this day. And somebody would say, we’re thinking of you and lifting you in prayer today and go on with a message that just, you know, uplifted me, got me through.

And sometimes I think it was just, almost minute by minute at times with the pain. And I would get messages or I would get a phone call, just the little things that God would bring and watching the birds out of our bedroom. We have sliding doors at the bedroom, watching the little birds and things that God would just, bring to me that [00:30:00] just brought a smile to my face, gave me hope.

Kelly: Yeah. I love hearing how people minister to you too, because when we have friends who are suffering, we don’t know what to do, so that was beautiful to hear as well. I know that the Lord just met you moment by moment. Encouragement. And I just want to say that they’re in the darkest times of my life.

I just said to the Lord I need you to encourage me. I need to hear from you. And he would send a person or a text, or he would speak to my heart. He would remind me of a promise. Or there was just a sense he was with me, Kelly. I’m so much bigger than this, Kelly. I am with you. And so I just want to encourage those listening when you are at the lowest cry out to God, and he will answer you.

And if you don’t mind, I would also like to just leave our listeners with that story. So you were young, you were at a swimming pool just tell us that story because the Lord met you there in a really [00:31:00] sweet way that sustained you over the years. Yes.

Linda: Yes. I again lived out in a very rural area.

So at the end of the school year, I typically did not see my little friends until we went back to school in the fall. And so my father said. Well, get your friends. There were probably about six or six to eight of us that I invited that. He said, I’ll take you swimming. And we went to this swimming. It was kind of like a little lake actually.

And one end had a very large slide that went into the water. Well, all of my friends. could swim and I really could not. I could doggy paddle barely. And my friends were like come on, let’s go down the slide. Well my faither was there and they did have a life guard. My father was reading a book and I remember thinking I shouldn’t go, “you can’t swim well” [00:32:00] and it went into the deeper end of the pool. They had another slide at the the less deep and I didn’t want to be the only one going there.

So I followed my friends, I go down the slide, go into the water and I started

Kelly: to drown.

Linda: I literally started to drown and my doggy paddling couldn’t keep me up and I couldn’t get my head up. And I just, I was. I was panicked and I was probably, seven to nine years old,

and I remember having this vision, peace came over me and I had been putting my hand up my arm up as high as I could. And then I just got this vision. It was All I remember, it was like a sparkling white city, the buildings, the roofs, everything sparkling white on a hill, and I got that vision, and I just had such peace, and I’m going to put my hand up one more time, and someone, it was one of my [00:33:00] friends, and to this day, I don’t know which one, pulled me up and pulled me.

And of course, by this time, my father’s at the side, jumping up and down, panicked but they get me out of the water and I’m spitting out water and so forth. But that stuck with me all the years that I just had this I just, I couldn’t speak, but I remember in my spirit, Lord God, is this heaven, is this heaven?

And I just felt that it gave me that glimpse, but it wasn’t my time. And so whoever pulled me up, it was the perfect timing of God. But that stayed with me all my life. I knew there was a God. I know there’s a heaven. And he just gave me that little glimpse, but it wasn’t my time.

Kelly: Yeah, I just thought that was beautiful.

I’ve heard so many stories from people who when they were in a crisis situation and in a very dangerous life threatening situation, God’s peace surrounded them. there was a warmth and a comfort [00:34:00] and a knowing God is with me and all the fear went away.

Linda: Yes, I was struggling at first, of course, but then I just this peace and I know today it’s like John 1427, my piece I leave with you, my piece I give unto you.

And that was the kind of piece is unexplainable. But it stayed with me. It stayed with me all my life. And you know, I didn’t tell many people about that because like, Oh yeah, sure. You saw heaven, but I just always felt that was a glimpse, at least in my eyes at that age, that was heaven. And that he gave me that for a reason.

Yeah. And that peace. Yeah,

Kelly: absolutely. You know, I wanted to. Share one other thing I can just remember, Lee and I had just discovered that our twin babies were also profoundly deaf. So they were. Third pregnancy and our kids were five and under oldest daughter, also profoundly deaf, but I just remember one night Leah and I were with those babies.

They [00:35:00] were very young. So just two weeks old and they were so adorable and identical and we were laughing as we watched them just kind of move on the floor and Lee said to me, my husband said to me, don’t you think we should be more depressed? And it was so obvious that God had answered our prayers.

One of the things I prayed when we found out was God, please don’t let it hurt as much as it did the first time. And when you read in the Bible that God’s supernatural peace can guard our hearts, it’s really true. It’s true. It’s true. I just want to make the point that our suffering matters, that God sees you, God cares, God acts.

He is always working. He never wastes our pain. And that verse, I’m just going to read it. Philippians four, four says rejoice in the Lord always. I say it again, rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is [00:36:00] near.

And this is what we’ve heard in your story, Linda, over and over how the Lord demonstrated how near he was. And then it says, don’t be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with Thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I just want to say the peace of God that will absolutely blow your mind.

Linda: Yes, I always say blow your socks off. That’s His peace will blow your socks off because it’s so supernatural. It’s so supernatural. Yes. Yes.

Kelly: So just briefly, I just wanted, you still have some ongoing consequences, right?

Linda: Yes. I do still have a colostomy and it has been four years now. My bowel was not removed as in some cases it was damaged because of the cancer. But if as [00:37:00] things Basically heal. They’ll remove it. It hasn’t happened yet. I’m believing, but I try to look at it as a blessing that I’m still able to function. I lead a good life, a normal life. I can still go for walks and do things and travel and, you just have to be prepared. Take your supplies. It’s like a little bump in the road is how I look at it at this point.

The one that this is a scripture I want to say it’s from numbers , but Holy Spirit brought this to me. It’s numbers 23:19.

Now I’m gonna paraphrase ’cause I don’t have it right in front of me, but it says, God is not a man that he should lie, nor a man that he should repent. If he said it, will he not do it? And I thought, I can really depend on his word. He’s not a man that he lies.

If he says it, he’ll do it time and time again. You go through the scripture. If he said it, he did it. [00:38:00] He’s faithful. So that really blessed me. And again, of all places, I don’t study numbers per se. You know, I mean, I read through the Bible, but numbers is not one of my favorite chapters. So I knew that was from God.

That scripture was from God. And it was basically saying, trust me, Linda. Trust me in this. So that really helped me

Kelly: yeah. Well, I know so many times we can just be broken hearted by ongoing difficulties. And like you were talking about the isolation of suffering and people not understanding your suffering and maybe people even blaming you for your suffering.

And so, I love that you just continued to run to the Lord and he was your friend. Jesus is your friend and you came to know the Lord is your constant comfort and presence and delight even.

Linda: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes. And again, I think if you you look at these things and try to find [00:39:00] some good in, all of it, there always is.

And that’s because of him. There’s always some good. And so that’s how I try to look at it and it helps my faith and then I can help others. And I’ve actually met numerous people that have colostomies and maybe I’ve given them my book and I didn’t know they had a colostomy and they’ll come back and say, I’ve got one too.

I just didn’t want to, it’s kind of a shameful thing. And I look at it as, well, it’s a new lease on life for me.

Kelly: Yeah,

Linda: And I actually got online and Googled famous people. that have or have had colostomies. And I was amazed. That also encouraged me. So, of course, would I rather not have it, but because I do have it, I’m not going to let it, you know, stop me living my life and doing what God’s called me to do.

Kelly: [00:40:00] Well, Linda, thank you for sharing your story with us so that we could be reminded that God is always near.

Linda: Yes. Yes, he is. I thank you for the opportunity just to give people hope that when it seems like the very bottom has fallen out, look up. Look up and that’s, , he’s that close. Just look up and God is there. He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. So It’s true.

Kelly: Yes. We can just cry out.

Linda: Yes, absolutely.

well, thanks so much, Linda, for being here today. What a blessing.

Linda: Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Kelly and you to be blessed and have a wonderful afternoon.

If you were encouraged in your faith today, it’d be great if you’d help get the word out by subscribing, sharing with a friend or leaving a review. I’d love to hear from you. You can reach out through my website, kellyhall. org and pick up some free resources while you’re there. Thanks for listening to the Unshakable Hope [00:41:00] Podcast.